A brief perusal of my blogs and you will see that I have no been very type-happy lately. 2018 was a challenging year - a year that was pretty much devoid of running in any concrete form. Sure, I went for one here and there, but 2017 kind of burnt me out a bit.
I ran a half marathon every month in 2017, and while the blog posts have yet to be written for half of them...you can see them listed on my Races page. I pretty much finished the year not running anything but the races and that was enough that I was able to finish each race without destroying my body in the process.
2018 has been an emotionally draining year for reasons I won't discuss here, but it has pretty much sapped most of my energy, free thinking time, motivation and my body (and perhaps, my mind) has paid the price. I am not happy with how I look. I guess that's a lie. I am not happy with how my body makes me feel. Sure, if I'm skinnier, I will be more conventionally attractive. I won't be described with words like husky, broad-shouldered, or meaty. Nice ways of saying larger-than-average. The real problem is I don't feel comfortable. A lot - a whole fucking lot - of my clothes don't fit me any more. It's pretty embarrassing just to get dressed. Also, it is sometimes challenging to tie my own shoes among other things.
I just can't continue not exercising. If I had the money, I would join Weight Watchers again, since that worked in 2016, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't think that would work. I know what I should be eating. And I know what I shouldn't be. Eventually, on Weight Watchers...I stopped recording in the app what I was eating, and my weight creeped back up and I quit the program. It boils down to being accountable to yourself.
Cut to a year a half later and that's where I am now. Kind of fat. Kind of lost. Kind of depressed. Kind of hopeless. And I need to change that.
I've been mulling it over a while now, and I have decided to train (as close to the level as London as possible) for another marathon. And I've signed up already. The Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon is on May 5, 2019. It is 142 days away - 20 weeks and 2 days away. My 20 week training program starts on December 17. I will be aiming for Run-Walk this time around...instead of Run only (as I did for London) just because I am not quite in the shape I was then.
Stay tuned for further developments.
I ran a half marathon every month in 2017, and while the blog posts have yet to be written for half of them...you can see them listed on my Races page. I pretty much finished the year not running anything but the races and that was enough that I was able to finish each race without destroying my body in the process.
2018 has been an emotionally draining year for reasons I won't discuss here, but it has pretty much sapped most of my energy, free thinking time, motivation and my body (and perhaps, my mind) has paid the price. I am not happy with how I look. I guess that's a lie. I am not happy with how my body makes me feel. Sure, if I'm skinnier, I will be more conventionally attractive. I won't be described with words like husky, broad-shouldered, or meaty. Nice ways of saying larger-than-average. The real problem is I don't feel comfortable. A lot - a whole fucking lot - of my clothes don't fit me any more. It's pretty embarrassing just to get dressed. Also, it is sometimes challenging to tie my own shoes among other things.
I just can't continue not exercising. If I had the money, I would join Weight Watchers again, since that worked in 2016, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't think that would work. I know what I should be eating. And I know what I shouldn't be. Eventually, on Weight Watchers...I stopped recording in the app what I was eating, and my weight creeped back up and I quit the program. It boils down to being accountable to yourself.
Cut to a year a half later and that's where I am now. Kind of fat. Kind of lost. Kind of depressed. Kind of hopeless. And I need to change that.
I've been mulling it over a while now, and I have decided to train (as close to the level as London as possible) for another marathon. And I've signed up already. The Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon is on May 5, 2019. It is 142 days away - 20 weeks and 2 days away. My 20 week training program starts on December 17. I will be aiming for Run-Walk this time around...instead of Run only (as I did for London) just because I am not quite in the shape I was then.
Stay tuned for further developments.
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