A brief perusal of my blogs and you will see that I have no been very type-happy lately.  2018 was a challenging year - a year that was pretty much devoid of running in any concrete form.  Sure, I went for one here and there, but 2017 kind of burnt me out a bit.

I ran a half marathon every month in 2017, and while the blog posts have yet to be written for half of them...you can see them listed on my Races page.  I pretty much finished the year not running anything but the races and that was enough that I was able to finish each race without destroying my body in the process.

2018 has been an emotionally draining year for reasons I won't discuss here, but it has pretty much sapped most of my energy, free thinking time, motivation and my body (and perhaps, my mind) has paid the price.  I am not happy with how I look.  I guess that's a lie.  I am not happy with how my body makes me feel.  Sure, if I'm skinnier, I will be more conventionally attractive.  I won't be described with words like husky, broad-shouldered, or meaty.  Nice ways of saying larger-than-average.  The real problem is I don't feel comfortable.  A lot - a whole fucking lot - of my clothes don't fit me any more.  It's pretty embarrassing just to get dressed.  Also, it is sometimes challenging to tie my own shoes among other things.

I just can't continue not exercising.  If I had the money, I would join Weight Watchers again, since that worked in 2016, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't think that would work.  I know what I should be eating.  And I know what I shouldn't be.  Eventually, on Weight Watchers...I stopped recording in the app what I was eating, and my weight creeped back up and I quit the program.  It boils down to being accountable to yourself.

Cut to a year a half later and that's where I am now.  Kind of fat.  Kind of lost.  Kind of depressed.  Kind of hopeless.  And I need to change that.

I've been mulling it over a while now, and I have decided to train (as close to the level as London as possible) for another marathon.  And I've signed up already.  The Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon is on May 5, 2019.  It is 142 days away - 20 weeks and 2 days away.  My 20 week training program starts on December 17.  I will be aiming for Run-Walk this time around...instead of Run only (as I did for London) just because I am not quite in the shape I was then.

​Stay tuned for further developments.

So, I wanted to change things up this year.  Mainly, I want to get back into marathon shape.  Not necessarily run a marathon...maybe, but be able to do so.  I look back at the body I had in 2014, and how I felt about myself, and I want that back.  I let myself go.  I've tried restarting over and over the running routine and it just wasn't cutting it.  I didn't have the drive, or the energy.  And I've had a terrible diet for a long time...even through marathon training.  I was just burning a lot of it off.

So, I joined Weight Watchers.  Apparently, they underwent a transformation themselves, turning into the SmartPoints plan at the turn of the year.  Well, good news for me is I don't have to learn the old plan.  This is just the plan they have.  I see some older members struggling with the change - since some of their foods changed in points.  That's how WW works you see.  You enter your stats and your goal, and they tell you how many points per day you can eat.  There are also weekly points (that reset weekly) to give a little wiggle room.  Pretty simple.

Their app - sent from the gods! - has a barcode scanner, restaurant finder, recipe creator - you name it, it's got it.  And it's all helpful.  Just for kicks I entered what I ate the day I joined and it ended up being 120 points.  My first daily point allowance was 50.  I was eating over twice what WW was recommending.  Pretty much speaks for itself, huh?

So, the first week went by...I stuck to around the 50 point mark and I stuck to my half marathon pre-training and I lost 7 pounds!!!  And my points per day went from 50 to 48.  Wah wah!  But, today is the end of my second week - I had my second weigh-in, and I lost 2.2 pounds this week.  So, in two weeks, I've lost 9.2 pounds.  I'm fairly proud of myself.  I've had a few slip-ups, but I've tracked everything and I'm going to continue to do so.  Despite the cold I've had the last few days, I stayed relatively on track to finish out Week 1 of half marathon training and I feel good.

More to come.  :)

I had what would be my final appointment at Moffitt Cancer Center (hopefully, forever) last week.  Alan and I only had to wait a few minutes before being called in - a first!  The nurse practitioner looked me over and asked a few questions.  She categorized my skin cancer as a Stage 1B - you can read more about the stages here.  Basically, it means I had a section of skin around the melanoma, as well as the cancer itself, surgically removed.  She said that there is an 8% chance that the cancer will return...and I'm a slightly higher risk due to my occupation (i.e. working outside).

The doctor came in for only a few minutes, and while he was there, he scolded me for being pink, as in my face - something anyone who knows me can attest to that I've been that way for a very long time.  I have a pink complexion.  And then, he got a phone call.  He stayed on the phone for the next few minutes while the nurse practitioner tried to get an answer out of him as to whether or not I needed to come back.  It seemed she decided that I didn't need to come back, just keep my regular appointments with my dermatologist.  And I was finished.  His bedside manner aside, I was happy to leave, and hope I never have to go back.

I had a previously scheduled dermatology appointment a few days later and nothing was found. Always good to hear that from Robin!  I am to return to the dermatologist every 3-4 months for a skin screening, pretty much for the rest of my life.  But, I will do that, as the alternative is much worse.  I am very thankful this time was caught so early.

I went for another check-up at the dermatologist today.  I was a little worried, because last time they did find something - atypia - which for most people is nothing to be concerned about, but for someone that has had melanoma before, it is removed right away.  This time, I'm happy to say, that nothing was found and I'm good until my next appointment in February.

I had a follow-up appointment at Moffitt Cancer Center last month.  My boyfriend came with me for moral support.  It's not an easy place to walk into.  I was my usual sarcastic self with the nursing staff - they make sure you're alive before you see a doctor.  Surprisingly, I was called in within 15 minutes.  The doctor looked at my neck, asked my a lot of questions, including if I had been seeing a dermatologist.  I said, "No, I was told to come back here and then after this appointment, I would be sent to them for regular check-ups."  Or, something like that.  Well, I guess (surprise, surprise) I heard wrong.  I should have been seeing a dermatologist every three months.  After scheduling another appointment in six months, I called USF Dermatology and scheduled an appointment for Monday, August 4th with Dr. Robyn.

The 4th rolls around and I head in there.  This is the first time I've seen her since my operation, so I thank her for finding the melanoma in the first place.  She was pregnant the last time I saw her, so I tentatively ask how her little one is - he is doing well.  I explain the Moffitt situation to her and she agrees that I should be seeing her every three months.  She looks me over, and finds two moles that are darker than the others - the "ugly ducklings" as they call them - one on my left forearm, and one under my right ear, an inch away from my scar from the previous surgery.  She's going to have to take them off and send them to be tested.  I wasn't too thrilled to hear this, but it's better to know sooner than later.  The prick of the needle is nothing compared to the burn of the anesthetic.  I joked, "9 out of 10 patients prefer the prick over the burn."  She cut the moles off and said the results would be back in three weeks.  She would call me either way (good or bad), but I would get a letter if I needed to come back in.

I had a notice in my mailbox that I needed to pick up a certified letter from USF Health.  Crap.

I made my boyfriend get up early with me on Saturday morning, so we could go pick it up.  I was prepared for the worst.  However, I had no need to be.  The letter said I had a dysplastic nevus - or what the NIH wants everyone to call, an atypical mole.  It is a type of mole that is more likely than a normal mole to develop into melanoma, though most atypical moles will not become malignant.  Although, numerous studies indicate that half of the melanoma cases arose from atypical moles.  In any case, for someone who has had melanoma before (me), the answer is to chop it off.

I waited a few days to see if Dr. Robyn would call, and after not hearing from her, I made an appointment to go in and discuss my options.  About 30 minutes after this call, Dr. Robyn called.  She wanted to let me know that the one on my forearm was nothing, just a mole, and the one on my neck was a dysplastic nevus.  She wanted me to come in and have the rest of it removed.  I told her I had just made an appointment and I would see her tomorrow.

On August 18th, same thing as last time.  I used the same joke on a different nurse about the prick of the needle versus the burn - I had a better reaction the first time.  Dr. Robyn cut it off and said I'd get the results in three weeks.  To be clear, they took a much larger area than last time.  It looks like something tried to crawl out of my neck and left a hole.  She just wanted to be sure that they got all of the atypical tissue - getting clear margins, as they call it.  I am hopeful, and I'll just have to be (a good) patient.

I am so thankful to all of my donors - all 51 of you (technically).  Without your support, I would have had to cover the difference myself.  For those of you not equipped to handle pounds, £1,690.41 = $2,842.08.  With your support, Save the Rhino will be able to do more to help conserve wild rhinoceros.  During my trip to London, I was able to visit their headquarters, meet the dedicated staff (it is a crowded office!) and stay with the Director, Cathy Dean.  It was an unforgettable trip ne'er to be repeated.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The McWilliams Family
Mom & Dad
Judy & Gene Wunder
The Stewards
Uncle Buddy
Anonymous
Lois
KF
Diana & Jack
Buddy & Sheila
Keith & Cathy Zub
Jay & Kendall Duncan
Christy & JJ
Morgan
Kelli
Anne Cervantes
Anna
Susan Shepard
Margi
Nicole
Jason Green
Jules Mastro
Katie & Jay Stutz
Gillian
Carol Nolin
Cydney Peterson
Christine Ramsdell-Pervier
Tom & Karen Mattus
Lara Wunder
Dick & Cheryl Robillard
Katie & Amanda
Phil Hillary
Rhino Joe
Alex
Mandy Shiner
Charlene & Bill Lemoine
Laurin Paradise
Sarah Vitelli
Tad Davenport
Sharon Marszal
Tricia Webster
Rob Yordi
Liz & Gene Farrell
Thomas Berger
Katie Kurec
The Stantons
Alissa Atkinson
Dianne Leblanc
Donna & Bernie Doherty
Kiano & Ayana Black Rhinos - Blank Park Zoo
Lisa Henderson

It's that time of year again!  The 25th Annual Bowling for Rhinos is upon us.  This is American Association of Zoo Keeper's (AAZK) biggest fundraiser of the year and it is a momentous one this year - we are set to surpass $5 million raised since the inception of this event.  We are also aiming to raise $500,000 this year - after the record $485,000 last year.  All the information about the event is at Tampa Bay AAZK's website.

Tampa Bay AAZK is hosting their chapter's Bowling for Rhinos:
Friday, May 30th
Pin Chasers Midtown
4847 North Armenia Ave.
Tampa, FL, 33603

You can bowl in the first crash (6-8pm) or the second crash (8:30-10:30 pm).  We will also have t-shirts for sale (see above image).  You save $5 by pre-registering at the website - it is $30 to bowl and buy a shirt - it is $20 for one or the other.  There will also be a silent auction with many cool items including animal-inspired and created artwork, as well as a raffle with lots of Florida signed sport memorabilia and tickets, the BIGGEST PRIZE we've ever had - four round-trip tickets from Southwest Airlines.  Last year, we raised over $6,300 - a record for us.  As Tampa Bay AAZK's Fundraising Chair, I am the Bowling for Rhinos coordinator as well, so if you have any questions, feel free to e-mail Sean@RunningForRhinos.com.   :)

After an uneventful drive to Orlando, and a quick "ferry" from Tiffany and Kyle's house (thank you both very much), I was at the Orlando International Airport.  I arrived pretty early (since it was an international flight) and had time for a nice dinner at Romano's Macaroni Grill (pre-security).  My flight left at 8:10pm and was good - I flew Aer Lingus.  I lucked out on the row - first in the rear section of the plane, and no one sitting next to me either.  They served a tasty pasta dinner and then I was in and out of sleep for the 7.5 hour flight to Dublin.  I went through a Customs-y area in the Dublin airport where my passport was stamped and waited a few hours for my connection to London Heathrow.  No problems there either - exit row all to myself.  I landed at about 12:30pm (GMT), got my bags - no passport stamp here :-( - and headed immediately to the Underground (also known as The Tube) - London's subway system - to meet up with Cathy Dean, the director of Save the Rhino International and my London host, at her office.

The locals were out in full force as I trudged through the Borough Market area with my luggage to get to the office.  It was a Friday and I guess they start early.  It was nice to meet the staff of Save the Rhino with whom I had been exchanging marathon-related e-mails for months, and after a quick hello, getting my running rhino shirt photographed and tweeted, and instructions on how to get to ExCeL London, I was off (sans bags - Cathy graciously offered to take them to her flat where I'd be staying the next two nights).

I headed back to the Tube and ended up at the DLR platform where I spotted a celebrity.  I actually misread the timetable for the DLR and could have caught a train to the ExCeL center sooner, but I'm glad I didn't.  I was just soaking everything in - these were my first hours in London! - looking at the architecture, the people, how they dressed, listening to their accents, everything!  When...while waiting on the platform...a rather handsome blonde caught my eye, and then I did a double-take.  He looked familiar and just as we made significant eye contact, I realized who it was.  Ed Speleers!  Who to me, will always be Eragon, but to most people in America (who watch Downton Abbey), he's better known as James "Jimmy" Kent, the footman.  After freaking out inside and realizing that I'd never get a photo of him without being creepy (because of the aforementioned eye contact), I just made my way around the crowd and asked if he minded if I took a picture with him.  He kind of laugh-scoffed and said "Sure."  I said, "You're Ed, right?"  He said, "Yup," and smiled.  I introduced myself, held out my hand and he shook it.  *sigh*  I took the photo, said it was nice to meet him, and that was that.  Then the train came and he got in the same car as me!  I was still shaking as I updated my facebook status.  I didn't want to bother him, so I just kind of ignored him after that.  He got off the same stop as me, so I started thinking "Maybe he's running the marathon too."  But, after I got into ExCeL, I waited by the front doors and I didn't see him come in, so either he was avoiding me (lol) or he stopped somewhere else...because I googled him later and found out that he was running this year's marathon (which would be his third one).  In any case, it was a wild series of events that led to meeting my first celebrity in London.  I was sure to see celebrities every day!  Alas, it would be my only one.  But it was still awesome!

The Expo was amazing - it was at the ExCeL Centre, which is the largest convention center in which I've been.  I picked up my bib/packet and walked through a smoky tunnel (ooooh!) to enter the area with all the vendors and speakers and fun stuff.  I bought a London Marathon Adidas shirt and browsed a few of the vendors, but it was pretty much the same selection as I've seen at other ones.  I hit up the photo booth and posted my photo to their wall (an actual physical wall in the Centre).  I picked up my race shirt that I had mailed over to have my name printed on it.  Thankfully, it was there - and they spelled my name right!  I didn't linger long - I had more to see.

I made my way back to the DLR and the Tube and headed to the British Museum - woo hoo!  If I could see only one thing in London, this was it.  The museum houses the controversial Elgin Marbles.  I visited Greece and saw the Parthenon in April 2000 and it was certainly awe-inspiring.  However, this old dude "rescued" the sculptures from the temples of the Acropolis and they are now in London.  Whichever side of that disagreement you are on, their magnificence is not up for debate.  In fact, all of the Greco-Roman antiquities wings at the British Museum were stunning, and kept me occupied for over three hours.  This is not surprising since it is my favorite period - history and art-wise.  I made a quick trip around the rest of the museum to see the "must-see" items according to their brochure.  Eh.  A few of them were cool - the Easter Island man-stone, the samurai armor.  I found another wing of neo-classical sculptures - I was pretty much a speed-walking, picture-taking, museum marathoner.  I stopped in the Gift Shop as I was prepared to leave, looked at (and later bought some) postcards and realized that I missed a few interesting things.  Luckily, the Information Desk knew where to find the ones that were not out on loan - the coolest of which was Albrecht Durer's original Indian Rhino woodcut :-(